I Dreamt Of A Suit

"...So fine I dressed my words in...

Sacrifice. That word is the first word that comes to mind when I think of my family. It is at the forefront of everything that keeps us together... healthy... happy. This concept was not born on the day that our son came into our world. I met sacrifice long ago. I have gotten to know appreciation by association. Humble keeps them both in good company with hands in fools gold-filled pockets.Patience and I are still courting.

Since Forrest has been born, there has been a lot of sacrificing in our home. We eat in shifts. We sleep in shifts. We play in shifts.God Bless my husband. His day in and day out work schedule is proof. He has kindly and whole heartedly allowed me over these past seven months to take the time to finish school, as well as be here for our son 100% of the time. The unfortunate result of his kindness and my school work leaves us little time together. Sure, there are solutions to this... babysitters, daycare, part-time jobs...etc. I have considered all of these thoroughly. My solution: There is no perfect solution. Only God's voice. What did God tell me? These past months have been a gift.

I recently attempted to make a mad dash for graduation. I am only two courses away from this blessed day. I figured that swapping a full year's worth of courses for an accelerated two month pandemonium would solve all of our problems. Mistake. My husband and son live with me and I had never missed them so much. For two straight weeks my husband and I labored over what seemed to be a high priority for the success of our family. I found my reality during my first Physics test. As I stared blankly through those questions I concluded... I was wrong. The answers were at home. With the aid of gravity I parted with those ridiculous right angle triangles, left the library and drove home. I think Forrest felt the relief. I was greeted with a chubby smile and bite to the cheek.

Sacrifice. Graduation is now a year away. Still plenty of time to make arrangements to move. Sacrifice. I will sacrifice it all. I will not sacrifice my family. Even if all we get are fleeting moments.

"...Yeah you, you deserve the best

an anthem not my hand-me-down tune

Yeah you, you deserve the best

an anthem not my hand-me-down tune."

-The Avett Brothers